Steve Hale POV
by burbankstorylady
Summary: This story takes place during the ninth episode of season 3: "Wedding or Not Here We Come." It is from Steve's POV after DJ's confession to whom she thought was Kimmy. It involves flashbacks as Steve remembers the past.
1. Chapter 1

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

I'm an idiot. What have I done? I thought I was so smart. I mean, it's not everyone who gets through podiatry school. A lot of people make jokes about it, but they have no idea. The tests are really hard. It's not all foot rubs and playing twinkle toes. Oh my god. Why did I even become a podiatrist? I should have been, like, someone who eats food for living. A food critic! Why didn't I become a food critic? Why didn't I wait for DJ to make her decision before going out and finding her clone to date and become engaged to? Why was so terrified to propose to CJ that DJ ended up having to propose to CJ for me?

Oh my god.

DJ proposed to CJ for me. DJ tried on CJ's dress. DJ in CJ's dress, wow. I've never seen anything so lovely. I know I always say that when I see a fully-loaded pizza with extra mushrooms and pepperoni, but-

Stop it. Stop thinking about food. DJ is in love with you. DJ was going to pick you after that horrible summer.

Horrible? Wait, no, that summer wasn't horrible. It was actually kind of fun. I liked hanging out with Matt.

Stupid Matt. Why did he have to come here and ruin everything? If Matt had just stayed in Miami, I'd be dating DJ right now. Hell, I'd probably be on my way to Japan to marry DJ instead of CJ. I wouldn't even know CJ! And what I am saying? DJ would never go to Japan to get married. She'd never leave San Francisco to get married. We'd probably be getting married in the backyard of the Tanner Fuller house.

So many things would be different if only Matt had never been in the picture. But Matt is in the picture. Matt's the bonehead who had the brilliant idea for us to "move on with our lives" and get girlfriends. Wait a minute.

He tricked me. That son of a ….

That was his plan all along. Well, congratulations, Matt, you got the girl and I got her clone. Half my hair gone, up to my neck in student loans to pay off podriatry school, and no DJ to cuddle with at night.

CJ's a pretty good cuddler too though. And a good kisser. Though not as good as DJ. Or Matt, for that matter.

Oh crap. What am I going to do after we land in Tokyo? DJ is sleeping beside me looking so cute and delicious. I wonder if I should eat her peanuts. Does she even know they're there? Oh hell, I'm eating them. What she doesn't know won't kill her.

OK. Those peanuts were not satisfying because now I just want more peanuts. And DJ is still sleeping, with her noise-cancelling headphones on, and I still don't know what I'm going to say to her when she wakes up and realizes I'm not Kimmy.

Why was she even talking to Kimmy about me? Why would you consult Kimmy Gibbler for love advice? DJ, not smart.

Like I'm in a position to even say that. Right. The guy who had to have his high school sweetheart propose to the girl he "wants" to marry. The girl who is a perfect clone of said high school sweetheart. "Ceej!" Holy rolaids. Mylanta! What have I done?


	2. Chapter 2

I wonder what Matt and Stephanie find so amusing. I'm glad they're having fun. I get to sit to next my soulmate while traveling to Japan to marry her clone who I wouldn't even know at all if Matt hadn't-

Oh who am I kidding? It was my idea to date other women while we waited for DJ to make up her mind. Matt wanted to wait. Matt even told DJ he'd wait forever if he needed to. No wonder she picked him.

Wait. No! She was going to pick me! Me!

I'm so confused.

In that dream of hers, where she's the bank robbing racoon. What were my words? The raccoon represents deception. Well, there you go. She was deceiving herself into wanting Matt when the one she really wants is me. Am I doing the same thing? Deceiving myself into wanting CJ when the one I really want is DJ?

Matt probably deserves her more than I do. I'm the idiot who can't tell his DJ from his CJ or his CJ from his DJ.

I'm losing my mind.

She called me her soulmate. She said she's afraid she's losing her soulmate. That's it. I'm not marrying CJ. No, as soon as I get off this plane, I'm telling DJ- I mean I'm calling CJ. I have to cancel this whole thing. It was crazy to think I'm ready to get married to CJ. I totally freaked out when I saw her kissing Matt. I freaked out way more seeing DJ kiss Matt than I did when I accidentally kissed Matt. I'd much rather be the one kissing Matt if it means DJ doesn't kiss Matt. This is all wrong. When I saw DJ again I thought it was going to be great. I'd flirt with her and be her adorable Steve again and we'd fall in love again and get married and go on one of those honeymoon cruises where they have the all you can eat buffet. How did things get so screwed up? I need to try to remember.


	3. Chapter 3

Prom night. DJ's prom night. Man, it was great seeing her again. We danced at her prom and it was like we never broke up. I walked through the door and she kissed me like the old days and I knew everything was right again. She looked fantastic. She smelled fantastic. Better than Cookies and Cream Cheesecake, my favorite flavor Ben & Jerry's ice cream. It felt more like our prom than DJ's prom. My prom night kind of sucked, but this time, there was no Rachel to ruin everything. We danced a lot and kissed a lot and completely ignored the prom king-queen thing. I think Kimmy and her date were the prom king and queen, but who knows and who cares? That night was all about me and my girl. My soulmate.

 _You don't deserve her, you putz. You let her go to UCLA and you stayed in San Francisco and married that floozy who took the best years of your hair and most of your savings to boot. What did you think would happen? Did you think she'd stay single and parentless forever? Boy, were you wrong._

She came back to San Francisco to go to UC Davis vet school. I thought about leaving what's-her-name right then and there and marching up DJ and asking her out for fish tacos. Actually, I did leave what's her name. Who cares what her name is? I may as well call her Y, as in WHY did I even marry her? Seriously.

Fed up with everything, I went for a walk by myself. Well, anytime I do that, I have to get food. I was chowing down on my tenth burrito when I noticed that I had started down my favorite street. And there was my favorite house. I noticed a couple of 'for sale' signs as I approached the beautiful Tanner house and thought hmm. The Gibbler house had a 'for sale' sign in front of it too. I stood on the opposite side of the street and just stared at that beautiful pair of red doors. I wondered if it was the same inside as the last time I had been there. I figured Mr. Tanner was still living inside with his wife. I wasn't sure about the rest of the gang. Had Jesse and Becky and their twin boys finally gotten their own house? And what about Joey and Ginger? I imagined them all still living there as I looked at those beautiful red doors. Joey in the basement. Jesse upstairs in his room with the pink bunnies. Mr. Tanner moving from room to room, brandishing a feather duster. My reminiscences came to a screeching halt as I watched a very grown-up, and very pregnant D.J. stepping outside. I realize now, 14 years later, she was pregnant with Jackson. That was the first time I laid eyes on Tommy Fuller. He came out of the house behind her and put his arm around her. I watched them exchange a quick but loving kiss. There have been only a handful of times in my life when I lost my appetite. That was one of them. I went home and told Y it was over. I packed my bags and went to a hotel. The next day, I contacted a realtor and asked to look at all of the houses on Girard St. that were for sale. Well, they were all way out of my budget, of course. I was still in podiatry school. The realtor helped me find a place nearby to rent. Everyday I'd come home from school and make time to walk past the Tanner house. Years went by. I became a podiatrist with the initials DPM after my name. I bought a house. Becky became one of my patients and a source of much-valued news on what the Tanners (and Fullers, and Gladstones, and yes, even the Gibblers) were up to. I ended up adopting Comet Jr's puppy and naming her Comet Jr. Jr. Mr. Tanner said that made me officially family now and asked me to start calling him Danny but I couldn't get used to that. I felt terrible for not feeling overjoyed when he told me that DJ had given birth to her second kid, another son, little Max. I wanted to feel happy for her but it just broke my heart that I wasn't Jackson and Max's father.

I dated other women. They were all so boring and un-DJ like. Year after year. Bunion after bunion. I took Comet Jr. Jr. for a routine checkup at Harmon Pet Care, expecting of course to have that checkup performed by reliable funny old Dr. Fred Harmon. But he wasn't even there. DJ came out, looking lovely and happy and I wanted to kiss her so badly. She explained that she was a new associate there and hoped to be a partner someday. I made some lame comment about how great it would be to come into Tanner Harmon Pet Care and she corrected me. "It's Fuller now." Of course it was. How could I forget?

"We really need to keep in touch, Deej," I said.

"Yeah," she said, smiling. "We really do." And she brightened up in that wonderful way of hers, like she can't wait to make the world perfect for everyone. "And you have to meet Tommy and our boys. Jackson and Max are a hoot. So much like Stephanie and I when we were kids."

I never went to meet her husband though. I regret that now. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Whenever I took Comet Jr. Jr. in for his checkup, she'd say something about getting together and I'd make up some lame excuse. I loved her and I wanted her but I just couldn't bring myself to watch her being another man's wife. Especially as that man was, I heard, so amazing and heroic, one of San Francisco's finest, fighting fires and saving lives.

I was in Trader Joe's one day and ran into Kimmy Gibbler. She told me that Tommy Fuller had died in the line of duty. And DJ was pregnant again.


	4. Chapter 4

I was a nervous wreck. In my apartment with Comet Jr. Jr. after Kimmy had told me about the tragedy, I couldn't stop pacing and picking up the phone only to slam it back down again. What would I say? What could I say? I don't remember much. It's mostly a blur, but I think I said something like, "Uh…. DJ, I'm so sorry. What can I do? Do you want me to come over? I can bring pizza." I wanted to beat myself for mentioning food. As if pizza was going to take her pain away.

DJ and the boys moved into the old Tanner house on Girard. I felt so helpless and useless so I just kept my distance. Even when Tommy Jr. was born. A whole year went by, crazy fast, and one day, out with Comet Jr. Jr, I passed the house and saw the for-sale sign out front. Without even thinking, I dialed DJ's number.

"Deej."

"Steve, what's up? How's Comet Jr. Jr.?"

I wanted to burst into tears. That's all I was to her, just a dog-owner-patient-client-whatever, and it was my own fault for being such a coward. "Actually, she's pregnant."

The most beautiful sound in the world. DJ's exclamation of surprise. "No way! Comet Jr. Jr. is having puppies?"

"Yeah. I'm really freaked."

"Oh don't be. She'll be fine."

"No, I mean I'm freaked because I'm standing across the street from your house and there's a for-sale sign in the front."

"Oh that."

"Yeah, Deej, what's going on? Are you leaving San Francisco? Please tell me you're not in some kind of trouble. Are you on food stamps? Because that would really suck. They don't ration out nearly enough food."

DJ laughed. "No, Steve, I'm fine. I'm not on food stamps. Knock on wood, but so far so good. The house is on the market, though. Dad decided to sell it because, you know, the house is worth quite a lot now, and he's moving to LA, for the new show he's doing with Aunt Becky. The house is really too big for just me and the boys so we're going to find our own little place. Something cute, maybe in Oakland."

"What? Oakland? That's like on the other side of the bay. With San Francisco traffic the way it is, I may never see you again!"

DJ made that "awe" sound she makes. It was worse than what I imagine a sword in my chest would feel like, or a day without food, because it reminded me how crappy a friend to her I had been. Actually, I was worse than a crappy friend. I was an absent friend. I was a friend too cowardly to show his face.

I brought Comet Jr. Jr. into Harmon Pet Care so DJ could make sure everything was a-ok with the pregnancy. That was my stated reason. My unstated reason was just to see her again. It was great. Fred Harmon was there too. He was really excited about Comet Jr. Jr.'s pregnancy, which turned out to be further along than I thought. I went home with my dog and decided right then that I wasn't going to be an absentee, cowardly "friend" anymore. I was going to be there for DJ. No matter how hard it was.


	5. Chapter 5

But I mean for reals, I'm so glad DJ didn't move to Oakland. Because if DJ had moved to Oakland, I'd have to move there too. I mean, Comet Jr Jr needs to see her son, Cosmo, sometimes. I don't care how many great restaurants open up on the east bay, DJ and I don't belong there. We belong in 94115. Of course I don't have any right to tell DJ where to live or what to do with her life. But I want to have that right. Which is why when I get off this plane I'm calling CJ and calling this whole thing off.

No I'm not. That would be heartless. CJ would be crushed. She loves me. She's in love with me. I can't hurt CJ. I already hurt DJ too many times. Hurting CJ would be like hurting like DJ all over again. CJ is my second chance to do better, to be better, to be the guy that I wasn't for DJ. Why can't I be that guy for both CJ and DJ? I wish I could marry both of them. Bigamy isn't wrong if you love both your wives, right?

Said no decent guy ever!

What am I talking about? Bigamy? As if. This is California, not Utah!

I have to decide. Before I get off this plane, I have to decide.

 _Steve, stop being a jerk. Who do you love?_

Kimmy wants her seat back.

"No, Kimmy, I'm not moving. You should be sitting with your husband anyway."

"He's not my husband. Well, he is, but more importantly, he's my fiance and my baby daddy. But right now, he happens to be a royal pain in the rear, so I want my seat back. Actually, my seat is where Matt is, Matt should be here, but for some reason he wanted to talk to Stephanie."

"Whatever. I'm not moving."

"We'll see about that. Somebody will have to use the stinky bathroom at some point." (She walks back to the back of the plane to sit with her baby daddy.)

Oh crap. DJ's awake and she's looking at me with those perfect puppy dog eyes that scream, STEVE, YOU'RE MY SOULMATE. AREN'T SOULMATES SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER, AS IN WITH EACH OTHER, NOT PRETENDING TO BE IN LOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE?

"Steve? When did you get here?"

I don't know what to say. Oh crap, what do I say? Do I tell her that I know, that I heard her unbelievable, incredible, horrible and wonderful at the same time confession?

"Steve, you're sweating."

Of course, I'm sweating, Deej. You're touching my forehead. If anything makes me sweat it's sitting next to the woman, who is my soulmate, and who just confessed to me (to Kimmy) that she sees me as her soulmate. Because we are soulmates. She was going to pick me! Oh my god, she was going to pick me!

"Steve, you're burning up." DJ calls the flight attendant over and soon she's putting a clear plastic cup to my lips and making me drink water.

"Were you sick before you got on the plane?"

I shake my head, still unable to find words. I like DJ taking care of me, though. I smile weakly at her as she coaxes the water into my mouth. She smiles back at me.

"Hey, you two, what's going on?" (That's Matt. He's standing over us. Go away, Matt.)

"Steve is sweating. I think he's dehydrated. At least I hope that's all and he hasn't got a fever."

"Oh that's too bad, I'm sorry," Matt says, but he doesn't sound sorry at all. "Hey, Steve, you mind sitting with Stephanie? I need to talk to Deej."

 _Deej? Stop calling her Deej. She's not your Deej._

"Sure," I say, standing up. I'm actually kind of relieved. I think putting some distance between me and DJ right now is a pretty good idea. Of course letting Matt sit with her is a very bad idea!


	6. Chapter 6

I'm sitting next to Stephanie. She's reading _Rolling Stone_. My leg won't stop shaking. I keep nervously looking back at DJ and Steve. They're smiling about something. DJ looks really happy. What's happening? I thought I was her soulmate. How can I guy who's not your soulmate make you smile like that?

"Steve!"

Stephanie is looking at me. She's irritated. "Do you mind?"

"Oh sorry, Steph." Even though I have no idea what I did. I'm sorry for existing. I'm sorry for letting things get so screwed up between your sister and I. Your sister and myself? I have no idea. I was always terrible in English. Thank God podiatry is mostly Latin. Not that I'm much better at Latin, to be honest.

"Steve, you're still doing it."

"What?"

"Acting like, well, like Steve."

I force my leg to stop shaking and lean back against my seat. "Steph, I'm sorry. I'm a wreck."

"Gee, I hadn't noticed."

"I've made a terrible mistake."

"That's an unfortunate thing to say for a guy who's flying to Japan to get married."

"Tell me about it."

"Pre-wedding jitters?"

I force my best Steve smile and shrug. "Yeah. That's probably all it is. I'm just getting nervous. I mean, my first marriage was a complete disaster."

Stephanie looks at me sympathetically. "CJ's really nice though. You guys make a great couple."

I can't help looking back at DJ and Matt again.

"They're a great couple too."

I look incredulously at her. "What?"

She looks at me like I have two heads. "DJ and Matt?" Shaking her head, she returns her eyes to her magazine.

"Oh yeah. Right. DJ and Matt. Yeah they're great."

"Want to know a secret?" She's looking at me with her eyes all big and a huge grin. I just stare at her, unsure of what to say, so she continues. "Matt's going to propose to DJ."

"WHAT!"

She's taken aback by my overreaction, but quickly recovers. "Yeah. He came up here to show me the ring. But don't tell anyone, Steve. He made me promise not to tell anyone. I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I was going to burst and if I hadn't have told you, I'd have blabbed to she to whom you should never tell anything unless you want the entire world to know."

I can't register anything she was saying. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm suffocating.


	7. Chapter 7

Stephanie's gone. She traded places with Fernando so now I'm stuck with Fernando again. It says something about my relationship with Stephanie Tanner that she'd rather sit with Kimmy than me. I know about the little bet she and Kimmy have going and that Steph is Team Matt while Kimmy is Team Steve. It hurts to feel that a Tanner would turn on a Steve like that, but then there's no comprehending all of the she-wolf pack ways. I clearly have a long way to go in understanding women. If only women were as simple as food. Food is straightforward. I like it or I don't like it. And there really isn't a whole lot of food out there that I can't make myself like, either by adding garlic or hot sauce. Heck, the other day CJ made some tofu and I thought I it was gross but then she added soy sauce and I felt I'd died and gone to heaven.

Fernando is upset about being "cheated" out of first class by Max. I can't believe Max pretended to have a terminal illness in order to get unlimited ice cream sundaes. Wait a minute. Why didn't I do that? Oh man, I could use a hot fudge sundae right now.

"That little Max. He think he so clever. I'll have my revenge."

"Take it easy, Fernando. He's nine years old."

"Age is a number. Trust me, that kid is cunning beyond his years. I underestimated him. But believe me, as God as my witness, I will not make that mistake again!"

Oh great. Here's Matt standing over me but looking at Fernando, who has the window seat.

"Hey, Fernando. Now's your chance to sit in first class. Max has a tummy ache from all the sundaes he's been eating and he wants to sit with DJ."

I've never seen someone move so quickly. So now it's me and Matt.

"Hey, Matt."

"Hey, Steve."

"How's it going?"

"It's going. You?"

"Oh it's going. Yeah, it's going all right."

"I'll say. You're getting married, my man! To a fantastic woman, by the way."

"Thanks. You too."

"What?"

Crap. I didn't mean to say "You too." Why did I say that? Now he knows that I know.

"I mean, you're with a fantastic woman. DJ is the best."

Good save. I think he's buying it. "Yeah," he says, smiling. Gross.

Oh God oh myLanta. I can't take this anymore. I close my eyes and try to tune everything out. I need to think back and figure out where I went wrong so I know how to fix this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Flashbacks from Fuller House: Season 2, Episode 11.**

" _That's our song, 'Everything I do!'"_

" _In parentheses, 'I do it for you!'"_

" _From our favorite movie, Robinhood!"_

" _Colon: Prince of Thieves!"_

That's DJ. Only DJ. I've tried to get something like that going with CJ but she just doesn't get it. CJ's great, but the song thing…. Only DJ.

What did I say to DJ that night as we slow danced to Bryan Adams?

"If there's anything I learned from our relationship, it's that you can't let a good thing slip away."

CJ is a good thing. She's my second chance.

But DJ's a good thing too, and DJ was there first. I let her slip away but here she is back in my life and I'm doing it again. I'm letting her slip away simply because…. Why? Because I don't want to hurt CJ or I'm afraid of a little competition with Matt Harmon? So what if he's the incredibly handsome guy, and not a bad kisser. I'm the best podiatrist in San Francisco. Barbara Boxer has me in her speed dial. At least she did until she moved to Rancho Mirage.

No matter what I do I'll be letting a great woman slip away. I can't make both CJ and DJ happy. But if I choose CJ, at least I know DJ has Matt, and maybe he's not her soulmate, but he does love her, and he loves her kids, and I'll know she'll be loved and cherished in the way she deserves. I think I have my answer. I missed the boat with DJ. The boat is in port for me and CJ. I have to marry CJ.

Do I want to marry CJ?

Yes.

I think so.


End file.
